Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Taylor Momsen: ‘I’ll See Your Grammys and Raise You a British Accent’

I swear to God Taylor Momsen has a copy of Miley Cyrus‘ schedule because literally every – damn – time Miley shows up somewhere trying to prove she’s all grow’d up now, Taylorthrows a peep show because she’s a 40-year-old truck stop whore trapped in a 17-year-old’s body. “Dicks? Pfft. They don’t do nuthin’ for me anymore. A hack hack hack! Lousy black lung. Handy?”

But at least Taylor finally wore a new outfit before playing El Rey this weekend and addressing the crowd in, what I’m 90% positive was, a British accent (after the jump). Which is perfect. I was just saying the other day we need more Gwyneth Paltrows in the world. Brave soldiers threatening to kill themselves in the event their child is forced to eat Cup-a-Soup. Tackling the hard issues that plague the bourgeois before they find themselves trapped in a quagmire of plebeian cuisine. “My word, is this Olive Garden? Line the children out back, Winifred. We shall die as a family. Breadsticks, dreadful.”